Why Do Some Children Bite?

As the Director of a private preschool there is nothing that pulls at my heart-strings more, than when a child gets hurt, and biting is one of the worst. However, what I have to tell myself, having been the parent of a child who repeatedly got bitten as well as the parent of a child who was a biter, is that biting is common among children.

There are a number of reasons that children bite, and not a single one will make the parent of the child that got bitten feel any better. Nor will those reasons make the parent of the bitter feel better, because believe me it feels just as bad to know that your child is hanging out at school trying to taste his friends. I make light, but because I don’t see it as a problem, but because I want everyone to know that staying calm in these events is one of the best ways to help those bitters to correct their behavior.

Why Children Bite:

At a young age many children bite simply because they are exploring the world around them. Children go through a very “oral” stage when everything around them goes directly into their mouths, including their friends.

As they start to teeth biting can also be used as a way to sooth those aching gums, and ease the pain that their feeling.

It is also common for children to start biting before they have developed the communication skills to negotiate with others. They may resort to biting as a means of expressing themselves or getting their way.

As children get older, if biting continues or occurs for the first time, it is often out of aggression or anger. This is when a child who can clearly and effectively communicate what he or she wants doesn’t get his/her way, and makes the decision to punish the person he/she sees as being responsible.

What We Do to Prevent Biting:

Although we can’t catch every bit before it happens, we do try very hard to catch the majority of them. By doing the following things we hope that the children throughout our center will learn that “Teeth Are Not for Biting” our friends!

* We model kindness and gentle behavior

* We supervise the children well they are playing and we try to notice when tension builds and we try to redirect the children’s interest.

* We talk about feelings even with our littlest students. We help to build their language skills through sign-language.

* We try to balance each student’s day with stress-relieving activities such as art, outside play, story time, and even music and dancing.

Some important steps to remember when dealing with a bitter are:

1) Stay Calm – Young children especially infants and toddlers don’t understand what all the fuss is about after they have bitten a friend. Thus the child is often bound to try it again to see if he or she receives the same reaction.

2) Teach the child Self-Control – After biting another child, the bitter should not be placed in timeout as a punishment, but in quiet time to help settle his nervous and to take a break.

3) Set Boundaries – It may seem obvious to console and cuddle the child who was bitten, but the child who bite may also need comforting because he/she has often startled him/herself in the act of biting, not understanding what set off his own aggressive behavior.

4) Help the Healing Process – In order for the children to move on from the incident it is important to get both children in a safe, non aggressive situation where they can have fun together. This will help to erase the hurt feelings, and hopefully allow the child that was bitten not to associate the “biter” with pain or fear.

WRITE… Write… write…

Okay… let me start by saying, I miss my husband! He recently started classes toward his masters program, and he attends classes every Tuesday and Thursday evening. I know what you’re thinking, “Tuesday and Thursday? Is that all?” and you’re right. It’s only two days a week, not bad at all. Yet, still… I miss him when he isn’t home with me and the kids. Although above even that I am incredibly proud of him! Going back for his masters isn’t going to be an easy road, by any stretch of the imagination, and the fact that he is doing it with a full-time job, two kids, and a sometimes needy wife, I commend him!

Now, as I sit here and sulk… I can do one of two things. I can literally eat the pan of brownies in the kitchen and watch television until he gets home – not a bad idea, or I can pull out my computer and get to work! I am choosing the second option. I am always struggling to find time to write, and now with him going back to school I have been given two evenings a week, after the kids are in bed of course, to do just that. So, take advantage of it I will.

My goal is to see significant progress by the end of this coming weekend… which is to say that I will finally get through chapter eleven!

I think that my creativity has maybe taken a brief vacation, and left me in somewhat of a stump or creative block. I shall hammer through it this week though, and come out victorious! lol… That actually sounded confident. This just may work. If not, I might just cry… I figure if I don’t get to work soon, then when I receive my editor’s notes next weekend I really will cry. I am expecting them to be detailed and extensive, because that is what everyone had told me editors like to do. I have mentally prepared, but who knows how much that will really help. Although, I do look forward to the suggestions. I am excited to get book one in the Blood Angel series ready for the publisher, and an editor is just one of the many steps so… BRING IT ON!!!

Sandestin Golf and Beach Resort… Follow-up

Okay, I am sure someone out there read my previous post about my recent experience at the Sandestin Golf and Beach Resort. Well, I’d like to throw it out there that the purpose of my blog was not meant to attract their attention, or to even get anything in return. However, I was pleasantly surprised when they actually read the blog and responded within just a couple of hours.

After talking, via email, back and forth with the representatives at the resort I was very impressed. In order to make up for our bad experience they have offered us two nights free in one of their other buildings. That to me shows that they really do care for their guests and for the level of customer service that they portray. Thank you Sandestin, tops off to you and your staff.

So, now… my husband and I plan to give it another go, but this time we’re taking the kids. Haven’t booked the trip yet, but we are looking forward to another weekend at the beach, and hoping for a nice (clean) room with a view.