I listen to a lot of true crime podcasts.

And when I say a lot, I mean enough that I regularly find myself talking back to the radio, saying things like, “Why would you open the door?!” or “Nope. Absolutely not. That is how you end up on a podcast.”

I’ve listened to enough stories about seemingly innocent encounters that turned into something terrible that I’ve probably become a little more suspicious than the average person.

Last night, I was incredibly thankful for that. It was around 8:30 p.m. I was home alone, which thankfully doesn’t happen often, sitting in my office working on my computer. It was already pitch-black outside, and I was completely focused on what I was doing.

Then someone knocked on my front door.

My office is less than ten feet from that door, but I don’t have a clear view of the porch.

The dogs immediately lost their minds and ran in from the other room to stand at the door barking as they stared out the window at someone or something I couldn’t yet see.

And every alarm bell in my brain went off.

I didn’t walk to the door. I didn’t call out, “Who is it?” I didn’t open it a crack to see what they wanted.

Instead, I slowly got up and peeked through the window. There were two men standing about eight feet back from my front door. Something about it immediately felt wrong.

Could there have been a perfectly innocent explanation? Maybe, but in that moment, my brain wasn’t interested in finding out. Even today, thinking back, I can’t come up with an innocent explanation that makes any sense.

Every true crime story I have ever listened to seemed to scream the same thing: You do not owe a stranger access to you just because they knocked on your door.

So, I listened to my instincts. I grabbed my phone and moved away from the front of the house while calling my husband.

No answer. I called again.

Meanwhile, shaking and on the verge of tears, I was trying to figure out what I would do if these men didn’t leave.

When my husband finally answered, he already knew what was going on. He had gotten the Ring camera alert and had pulled up the camera and had spoken to the men through it.

They said they were from AT&T… At 8:30 at night… In the dark!

My husband pointed out the time and the men actually looked at their watches and responded with something along the lines of, “Oh, yeah. Sorry. We’ll leave.”

And then they left.

Maybe they really were with AT&T. Maybe they were completely harmless. Maybe they had been working all day and simply lost track of time.

I hope that’s exactly what happened. My instincts tell me it isn’t, but I hope it is.

But I also know that I don’t have to find out. Because, I don’t have to open my door to two strangers at night to avoid seeming rude. I don’t have to ignore the little voice in my head telling me something doesn’t feel right because I’m worried about overreacting.

And I don’t have to be embarrassed that the entire experience scared me. BECAUSE IT DID! It scared me enough that, even over the phone, my husband could tell I wouldn’t be able to stay in the house by myself that night. He convinced me, without much effort, to pack up and head out to stay with family. I am incredibly grateful I had somewhere safe and familiar to go.

Once I settled down, I started thinking about all those true crime podcasts I listen to. One of the recurring themes in so many of them is that people—especially women—often ignore their instincts because they don’t want to be rude.

• We don’t want to overreact.
• We don’t want to offend someone.
• We don’t want to look paranoid.
• We don’t want to be called crazy.

We tell ourselves: They’re probably harmless. I’m sure it’s fine. Or, I don’t want to make a big deal out of nothing.

Tonight reminded me that I’d rather make a big deal out of nothing than ignore something that turns out to be a big deal. It also made me realize there are things I need to do differently.

I want to become more confident in my own ability to handle situations that scare me. Because honestly, I was scared and panicking. That means thinking through my home safety plan, knowing exactly what I would do in an emergency, and getting additional training so I don’t have to figure things out while adrenaline is pumping and two strangers are standing outside my house.

Because last tonight, I was scared. Really scared. And maybe those two men were exactly who they said they were, but what if they weren’t? I genuinely hope they were, but I will never regret not opening that door. I plan to call AT&T to find out if they had people in the area last night.

So perhaps all those hours I’ve spent listening to true crime haven’t just entertained me while I’m driving, cleaning, working, or getting ready in the morning. Maybe they’ve taught me some important lessons too:

• Pay attention.
• Trust your instincts.
• You don’t have to open the door.
• You don’t have to prove you’re being reasonable.
• And you definitely don’t have to risk your safety just to be polite.

Thankfully, nothing happened, and that’s exactly how I wanted the story to end.

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Resources for Feeling Safer & More Prepared

I don’t want to end this story by telling anyone they should live in fear. That’s not how I want to live, either. However, I do think there is a difference between being afraid and being prepared.

Tonight showed me that I have some homework to do. I want to be more confident about what to do when something doesn’t feel right, especially when I’m home by myself. If this story has you thinking about your own safety plan, then maybe the information below will help… I did a little research for me and thought I’d share it with you too!

Know when to call for help.
If you believe someone is attempting to enter your home or you believe that you are in immediate danger, call 911. You don’t have to investigate the situation yourself or open the door to determine someone’s intentions.

Create a simple home safety plan.
Don’t wait until you’re in a situation, like I was in, and your scared and panicking. Answer these questions: Where would you go in your home? Who would you call? Can you see who’s outside without opening the door? Are your exterior doors and windows secure? Do your cameras cover the areas you need them to cover? Does everyone in your household know what to do?

Consider a neighborhood or community watch program.
You don’t have to approach personal safety alone. Neighborhood watch programs can help neighbors communicate about unusual activity and become more aware of what’s happening around them. Talk to your local Police Department, they may already know of a neighborhood watch group in your area that they can get you in touch with.

Take a self-defense class.
Self-defense training isn’t just about learning how to fight. A good program can teach awareness, boundary setting, de-escalation, confidence and what to do when leaving isn’t an option. Look for reputable instructors in your area and choose a program that emphasizes safety and realistic situations.

If you own a firearm, get trained.
Owning one and feeling confident using one safely are two very different things. Tonight made that incredibly clear to me personally. If you choose to keep a firearm for home protection, consider professional instruction that focuses first on safe handling, secure storage, decision-making and responsible use. This is something I personally plan to explore after tonight.

Use technology, but don’t rely on technology alone.
Video doorbells, exterior cameras, motion lighting, alarms and smart locks can all be useful layers of home security. Tonight, our Ring camera allowed my husband to speak to the people at our door without me ever having to open it. I’m extremely thankful for that. However, technology works best as part of a larger plan—not as the entire plan.

What I really want you to take away from my experience is this, you need to give yourself permission to trust your instincts. You don’t have to open the door – ever! You don’t have to explain why you’re uncomfortable. You don’t have to worry about hurting a stranger’s feelings. And, you don’t have to wait until you can prove that something is dangerous before taking steps to make yourself safe.

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