The Most Valuable Writing Lessons I’ve Learned Along the Way

As an author who has been writing now for 15 years and has navigated both the gritty, magical streets of urban fantasy and the dark, fractured worlds of dystopian fiction, I’ve picked up countless lessons throughout my writing journey. Some have come from hard-won experience, others from moments of doubt, and still others from the quiet, unexpected flashes of inspiration that seem to come out of nowhere, usually in the shower or during long car rides.

Today, I want to share the most valuable writing lessons I’ve learned along the way. These aren’t just about crafting stories—they’re about the mindset, habits, and perseverance that shape an author’s life.

1. Embrace the Chaos of the First Draft

When I first started writing, I used to agonize over every word in my first drafts. I’d waste hours trying to perfect every sentence, hoping to make it sound just right. But here’s the thing I’ve learned: the first draft is supposed to be messy. In fact, it’s better if it is.

Writing that first draft is about getting the story out of your head and onto the page, without worrying too much about perfection. It’s about momentum. Perfection can come later, during the revision process. When I finally gave myself permission to write without overthinking every word, I found that my creativity flowed much more freely. So, don’t stress over the first draft. Just write it.

2. Characters are the Heart of Your Story

In urban fantasy, where the world is often as complex as the plot itself, and in dystopian novels, where entire societies are upended, it’s easy to get caught up in world-building and intricate plots. But the most important part of any story is the characters. Readers don’t just want to know what’s happening—they want to know how it affects the characters, how they react, and how they grow.

I’ve learned that the more real and complex your characters feel, the more invested your readers will be in the world you’ve created. Whether they’re fighting monsters in a magical city or surviving in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, their journey—emotional, moral, and physical—is what makes readers care. So, I always ask myself: What does this moment mean for my characters?

3. Don’t Be Afraid to Break the Rules

Urban fantasy and dystopian fiction are genres that thrive on bending and breaking traditional rules. Magic is real, societies are crumbling, and the unexpected is always lurking around the corner. Over the years, I’ve realized that writing is a playground, and the rules are there to be tested, twisted, and sometimes shattered.

Whether it’s breaking the rules of storytelling, experimenting with unconventional narrative structures, or taking risks with your plot and characters, innovation often lies in the moments of rebellion. Some of my most exciting and rewarding moments as a writer have come from pushing beyond what I thought was possible. So, embrace the freedom to break the rules and experiment. You might just create something uniquely yours.

4. Write the Story That Only You Can Tell

In the world of fiction, it’s easy to feel the pressure to conform—to write what’s trendy or popular, or to imitate successful authors. I’ve definitely been pulled toward that trap before. But the truth is, the best stories come from your unique perspective. What makes your voice distinct is the way you see the world, your influences, and your experiences.

I’ve learned to lean into my own voice and not shy away from telling the stories that feel the most personal or unusual. When I allowed myself to write the kinds of stories I truly wanted to tell—my writing became more authentic, more exciting, and more fulfilling. Your story is yours to tell, and it will resonate most when it comes from an honest, original place.

5. Perfectionism Will Only Hold You Back

It’s easy to fall into the trap of constantly editing, revising, and doubting every word you write, especially when you’re passionate about your project. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve stared at a paragraph, tweaking and reworking it endlessly. But here’s the hard truth: perfect writing doesn’t exist.

At some point, you have to let go of the fear of imperfection and give yourself permission to finish. This doesn’t mean being careless or writing sloppy prose, but it does mean accepting that no piece of writing will ever be flawless. Perfectionism kills progress—it’ll paralyze you and keep you from finishing what you started. I’ve learned to step away from the manuscript, trusting that revisions will smooth out the rough edges.

6. It’s Okay to Not Have All the Answers Right Away

When I first began writing, I thought that a solid plot needed to be completely figured out before I even started. I tried to outline everything in advance, convinced that the best stories had everything planned out. But what I’ve learned over the years is that sometimes, you don’t have to have all the answers right away.

Especially when writing in genres like urban fantasy or dystopian fiction, there’s room for spontaneity. Your characters will surprise you, and your plot will evolve. Instead of trying to force everything into a predetermined mold, I’ve learned to embrace the unknown and trust that the answers will come as I write. Often, it’s in the act of writing itself that the story reveals what it wants to be.

7. Writing is a Marathon, Not a Sprint

Writing is not about getting to the finish line as quickly as possible. It’s about the process—the journey of creation. As someone who’s worked on multiple novels, I’ve learned that it’s important to pace myself. There are days when the words come easily, and there are days when they don’t come at all. That’s okay.

I’ve had to remind myself that writing is a long game. It takes time, persistence, and patience. There’s no rush. I’ve learned to accept that the process of writing—no matter how slow or messy it seems—is just as important as the finished product. Some days, the best thing I can do is simply sit down and write, even if it’s just a few hundred words or even justa journal entry. The more consistent I am, the further I get.

8. Rejection is Part of the Process

If there’s one lesson I wish I could tell every aspiring writer, it’s that rejection is a part of the journey. It stings, yes. It’s painful to have your work turned away or ignored, but I’ve learned that rejection is not a reflection of your talent or worth as a writer.

Every rejection has taught me something—whether it’s a critique on my writing style or a simple reminder that not every story is the right fit for every reader. The key is to not let rejection stop you from writing. I’ve had my fair share, and each time, I’ve picked myself back up, learned from the experience, and moved forward. Rejection is just a detour, not the end of the road.

9. Trust Your Instincts

There are many voices in the writing world—editors, agents, fellow authors, readers—and they all have their opinions. It’s easy to get overwhelmed by the advice and feedback you receive. Over the years, I’ve learned that the most important voice is your own.

Your instincts, your gut feelings, are there for a reason. If something feels off in your story or your character arc doesn’t resonate, listen to that. It’s easy to second-guess yourself, but I’ve found that trusting my own instincts is often what leads me to my best work. Writing is personal, and only you can truly know what’s right for your story.

Final Thoughts

The writing journey is not an easy one—it’s filled with highs and lows, moments of inspiration and doubt. But through it all, the lessons I’ve learned have made me a better, more resilient author. As I continue to write urban fantasy and dystopian novels, I carry these lessons with me, knowing they’ll help me navigate whatever comes next.

To anyone just starting out, or anyone struggling with their own writing journey: remember that writing is a process. You don’t have to get everything perfect right away, and sometimes, the biggest breakthroughs come when you least expect them. Keep writing, keep learning, and keep believing in your story. It’s worth it.


Without A World by Kristen Illarmo #giveaway

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Without a World (Kirasu Rising Book 1) by Kristen Illarmo

Genre: YA Science Fiction

A dying planet. A mythical new world.

Miranda struggles through each day in the Trash Lands, scraping for food and water, wishing she could blend into the sea of ash. The best part of her day is working a meaningless job in a place where people pretend she doesn’t exist.

Dismayed to learn her mother was right, Earth will get sucked into a black hole, Miranda must trust in skills she never knew she had to get to a place she refused to believe existed.

But when they learn the black hole is no natural phenomenon, Miranda can’t turn her back on the suffering of Earth, and saving it could cost more than she ever knew.

Add to Goodreads * Amazon * Apple * B&N * Kobo

Kristen Illarmo is a young adult, science fiction author driven to write stories with strong female characters in the backdrop of crumbling societies. She proudly calls New Orleans home, a fact that may only change if the perfect beach town reveals itself.

When she’s not toiling to improve efficiency in local government in her day job, she’s writing about dark possible futures and thinking about the importance of the choices we make. The prequel to Without A World, Behind the Red Door, is available now at kristenillarmo.com.

Join her monthly newsletter to grab the prequel to Without A World for free, get author updates, and access other free books from emerging authors at kristenillarmo.com.

Website * Facebook * Twitter * Instagram * Amazon * Goodreads

Would you like a chance to win a $15 Amazon gift card? Follow the tour HERE for special content and a giveaway!

How to find time to write as a parent?

I started writing Without A World in 2017 when my son was four, and my daughter was seven. I finished it in the summer of 2021, there were breaks and even other books written, but it certainly wasn’t fast.

It has gotten easier as they have gotten older, but it’s still hard since I also have a full-time job. I knew there was no way I could follow Stephen King’s advice and complete a first draft in three months, so I gave myself permission to work at a much slower pace. However, the other side of that coin is that I produce better work when I write consistently. That means I have to push myself to find snatches of time throughout the week to write.

I can’t write every day, and I make a point not to beat myself up about that, but I need to write at least 4 days a week to complete a competent draft. I have ambitions to be one of those people who wakes up at 5 am and writes for an hour or more before work. But waking up early makes me so cranky that I have never made it past the ambition. Instead, I aim to put the kids to bed by 8:30 and start writing right away.

Rather than watching the clock, I stick to the goal of writing a 1,500-word scene. I might not be able to bang out that many words before my brain turns to mush and my eyes start closing on their own, but I can usually get close, and even a start of a scene is better than nothing. Writing with kids and a full-time job is no picnic, but the small starts are what will keep you going.

Have 15 minutes? Start the scene. I also always leave a few lines about what should come next, so I don’t have to start with a blank page when I next pick it up. 


Magic Makes it Possible… #WritingWednesday

WELCOME TO #WRITINGWEDNESDAY

My #WritingWednesday series is all about using #WritingPrompts to spark creativity. I’m hoping you’ll decide to join me on this journey and participate in the weekly #WritingWednesday challenge!

Did you participate in the last #WritingWednesday challenge? If you haven’t posted your response, click HERE so you can do that now. Then, make sure you check in here ~ every Wednesday ~ for the latest #WritingWednesday #WritingPrompt! Now, back to today’s regularly scheduled post…

Remember, #WritingWednesday is an EASY, STRESS-FREE, weekly writing challenge.

  • Read the writing prompt below,
  • Spend 5 minutes writing (in your own voice or the voice of a character you’re writing) whatever comes to mind,
  • DON’T EDIT what you write! IT DOES NOT HAVE TO BE PERFECT! (I know this one is hard for a lot of writers, but when we edit as we go, we can reduce creativity.)

The goal is 5 minutes of creativity.

Today, I’m writing in the voice of Celeste, the character in my current WIP!

Today’s writing prompt:

What if magic was real and you could make the impossible possible… What would you do?

If you had asked me this a year ago, I would have said, I would make it so I never gained weight or I never aged. Maybe I would have wished for a new car… or an old one, seeing as my parents told me I had to wait until graduation.

Today, life is a little different. Things have changed. I know magic is real. I’ve seen it. Although, it isn’t what you think. You can’t bring back the dead, which is the only thing I’d wish for if I had a chance now. You can’t change the past. You can’t stop a war. You can’t end all evil, not with magic.

Those things, the big things… the ones that really matter, they take so much more than magic. They take time and a willingness that humanity just doesn’t seem to have right now.

© 2021 Nina Soden


Alright, now it’s your turn. I’d love to see what today’s #WritingPrompt inspires in you. So, if you are willing, go to the comment section below and start typing. Take 5 minutes and let’s see what you come up with! 


Looking for daily writing inspiration? Check out my author tool: #WRITINGPROMPTS

Who Can Benefit from Using #WritingPrompts? Everyone! Whether you’re an avid writer or just someone who is interested in the creative and/or therapeutic art of writing, #WritingPrompts is for you. Studies show that maintaining a daily handwritten journal, or creative writing notebook, can: 1. improve memory, 2. enhance creative expression, 3. lower stress, 4. build self-discipline, 5. eliminate writer’s block, and so much more! Writer’s Block Got You Down? Eliminate It, One Day at a Time! When it comes to writer’s block, the struggle is real! If you’ve ever sat at your computer, typewriter, or with pen in hand, but couldn’t get a single word on paper, then you know what writer’s block feels like. #WritingPrompts is the solution you’ve been looking for! Within the pages of #WritingPrompts, you will find over 700 writing prompts that you can use in order or at random, the choice is yours. Jump-Start Your Creativity with over 700 Unique Writing Prompts! Good writing takes time, practice, and unique ideas. Why not jump-start your imagination with these unique writing prompts and watch as you find your voice and become a more confident writer in just one year.


Oh I Wish… #WritingWednesday

WELCOME TO #WRITINGWEDNESDAY

#WritingWednesday is all about using #WRITINGPROMPTS to spark creativity. Did you participate in the last #WritingWednesday challenge? If you haven’t posted your response, click HERE so you can do that now. Then, make sure you check in here ~ every Wednesday ~ for the latest #WritingWednesday #WritingPrompt! Now, back to today’s regularly scheduled post…

Remember, #WritingWednesday is an EASY, STRESS-FREE, weekly writing challenge.

  • Read the writing prompt below,
  • Spend 5 minutes writing (in your own voice or the voice of a character you’re writing) whatever comes to mind,
  • DON’T EDIT what you write! IT DOES NOT HAVE TO BE PERFECT! (I know this one is hard for a lot of writers, but when we edit as we go, we can reduce creativity.)

The goal is 5 minutes of creativity.

Today, I’m writing in my own voice!

Today’s writing prompt:

What talent or skill do you wish you had?

I used to draw, a lot. We’re talking as a kid and even into college. For some reason, I stopped drawing. Its been years since I put pencil to paper for that purpose. I’m not even sure I could do it any more. Maybe that’s why I don’t do it… fear. Fear that I won’t be any good. Fear that it will be a disappointment, to myself. Fear that I’ve lost that skill I used to be so proud of.

I guess, I wish I had the talent or skill… or ability… to just just believe in myself. Believe 100% in myself and not to be afraid to fail.

© 2021 Nina Soden


Alright, now it’s your turn. I’d love to see what today’s #WritingPrompt inspires in you. So, if you are willing, go to the comment section below and start typing. Take 5 minutes and let’s see what you come up with! 


Looking for daily writing inspiration? Check out my author tool: #WRITINGPROMPTS

Who Can Benefit from Using #WritingPrompts? Everyone! Whether you’re an avid writer or just someone who is interested in the creative and/or therapeutic art of writing, #WritingPrompts is for you. Studies show that maintaining a daily handwritten journal, or creative writing notebook, can: 1. improve memory, 2. enhance creative expression, 3. lower stress, 4. build self-discipline, 5. eliminate writer’s block, and so much more! Writer’s Block Got You Down? Eliminate It, One Day at a Time! When it comes to writer’s block, the struggle is real! If you’ve ever sat at your computer, typewriter, or with pen in hand, but couldn’t get a single word on paper, then you know what writer’s block feels like. #WritingPrompts is the solution you’ve been looking for! Within the pages of #WritingPrompts, you will find over 700 writing prompts that you can use in order or at random, the choice is yours. Jump-Start Your Creativity with over 700 Unique Writing Prompts! Good writing takes time, practice, and unique ideas. Why not jump-start your imagination with these unique writing prompts and watch as you find your voice and become a more confident writer in just one year.


What Would You Ask? #WritingWednesday

It has been a long time since I posted a #WritingWednesday post, but I’m hoping to get this series started back up and I hope you’ll decide to join me!

#WritingWednesday is all about using #WRITINGPROMPTS to spark creativity. Did you participate in the last #WritingWednesday challenge? It was about ‘Happiness or Success’. If you haven’t posted your response, click HERE so you can do that now. Then, make sure you check in here ~ every Wednesday ~ for the latest #WritingWednesday #WritingPrompt! Now, back to today’s regularly scheduled post…

Remember, #WritingWednesday is an EASY, STRESS-FREE, weekly writing challenge.

  • Read the writing prompt below,
  • Spend 5 minutes writing (in your own voice or the voice of a character you’re writing) whatever comes to mind,
  • DON’T EDIT what you write! IT DOES NOT HAVE TO BE PERFECT! (I know this one is hard for a lot of writers, but when we edit as we go, we can reduce creativity.)

The goal is 5 minutes of creativity.

Today, I’m writing in my own voice!

Today’s writing prompt:

If you could sit down and talk with someone from your past, alive or dead, who would it be and WHAT WOULD YOU ASK?

I don’t have a lot of regrets in life. I tend to live life one day at a time and recognize that some people are only in our lives for a short time while others are there for the long haul. However, the one regret I do have is not spending more time with my grandpa, in the years after my grandmother passed away. I was in college when she died and told myself that I didn’t live close enough to just pop in to see him. Nor did I have much time to do things other than work, school, theatre, etc. etc. etc.

I regret not making the time.

With that said, I would love to sit down and have a conversation with my grandpa. I’d ask him about the afterlife. I know, just before he passed, he had visions of my grandmother. I’m sure she was coming to take him with her to the other side and I’d love to find out how they’ve been spending their time together since their reunion.

Then, I’d tell him I love him and I miss him, because I don’t feel like I tell the people in my life that I love them often enough. I make sure my kids and my husband hear it every day, but I want to make sure all of my family and friends know they are in my heart every day.

© 2021 Nina Soden


Alright, now it’s your turn. I’d love to see what today’s #WritingPrompt [What Would You Ask?] inspires in you. So, if you are willing, go to the comment section below and start typing. Take 5 minutes and let’s see what you come up with! 


Looking for daily writing inspiration? Check out my author tool: #WRITINGPROMPTS

Who Can Benefit from Using #WritingPrompts? Everyone! Whether you’re an avid writer or just someone who is interested in the creative and/or therapeutic art of writing, #WritingPrompts is for you. Studies show that maintaining a daily handwritten journal, or creative writing notebook, can: 1. improve memory, 2. enhance creative expression, 3. lower stress, 4. build self-discipline, 5. eliminate writer’s block, and so much more! Writer’s Block Got You Down? Eliminate It, One Day at a Time! When it comes to writer’s block, the struggle is real! If you’ve ever sat at your computer, typewriter, or with pen in hand, but couldn’t get a single word on paper, then you know what writer’s block feels like. #WritingPrompts is the solution you’ve been looking for! Within the pages of #WritingPrompts, you will find over 700 writing prompts that you can use in order or at random, the choice is yours. Jump-Start Your Creativity with over 700 Unique Writing Prompts! Good writing takes time, practice, and unique ideas. Why not jump-start your imagination with these unique writing prompts and watch as you find your voice and become a more confident writer in just one year.


Everdal Update #9…

Photo by Ann H on Pexels.com

Update #8 June 3, 2021

WORKING TITLE: Everdal
GENRE: YA/NA Fantasy
Status: First Draft Complete
Days in current Status: To Many
Days of actual writing: 25
Current Word Count: 64,223
Current Chapter Count Complete: 19
NEXT STEPS: Re-writes - Estimated completion date: unknown

The 1st draft is FINALLY done!

Well, its done.

I’m not going to lie, its an ugly first draft, but its done.

I think the story has great bones and the characters are fun… relatable… and likeable, for the most part. wink-wink…

I can’t wait to dig in and get started on the re-writes.

Photo by Janko Ferlic on Pexels.com

Everdal Update #8…

Update #8 April 28, 2021

WORKING TITLE: Everdal
GENRE: YA/NA Fantasy
Status: Writing First Draft
Days in current Status: 93
Days of actual writing: 19
Current Word Count: 40,890
Current Chapter Count Complete: 16
NEXT STEPS: Complete first draft - Estimated completion date: 5/31/2021

What Happened?!?!

I haven't written a single word in two weeks...

My minds been muddled.
My mouth has gone dry.
My eyes can't see and my body aches.

Words come in overloading waterfalls.
Images crowd my vision.
Time passes to quickly and I can't catch up.

Tonight, I tell myself.
Tomorrow, I say.
14 days gone already, how many more can I chance?!
Photo by Sam Kolder on Pexels.com

Everdal Update #7…

Image by TanteTati from Pixabay 

Update #7 April 14, 2021

WORKING TITLE: Everdal
GENRE: YA/NA Fantasy
Status: Writing First Draft
Days in current Status: 79
Days of actual writing: 19
Current Word Count: 40,890
Current Chapter Count Complete: 16
NEXT STEPS: Complete first draft - Estimated completion date: 5/31/2021

The End…

I am usually a chronological writer. Meaning, I write from the beginning of a story to the end. Every now and then, a scene pops into my mind out of order and I quickly type it up so I don’t forget it, but usually I type my stories in order. So, you can imagine my surprise when I recently typed the final chapter of my latest work in progress… at least five chapters early. I’ve never known what was going to happen so soon into the writing process. To be perfectly honest, I’m excited and a bit weirded out. I’m not sure I want to know the ending so soon… I’m not sure how I feel about it, other than to know that it is the right ending for this particular book. I don’t even know how we get there yet. But, I have a feeling its going to be a crazy, exciting, and bumpy ride. I can’t wait to share this adventure with all of you.


Everdal Update #6…

Update #6 March 31, 2021

WORKING TITLE: Everdal
GENRE: YA/NA Fantasy
Status: Writing First Draft
Days in current Status: 65
Days of actual writing: 14
Current Word Count: 33,560
Current Chapter Count Complete: 15
NEXT STEPS: Complete first draft - Estimated completion date: 5/31/2021

A Month of Excuses!

If I had a dollar for every excuse I made not to write over the past month… Well, I’d have a lot of dollars.

  • Work Deadlines
  • Kid Commitments
  • Home Owner Obligations
  • Wifely Responsibilities
  • To Tired
  • I Need to Exercise
  • To Much Computer Time
  • I Have to Cook
  • THE LIST GOES ON

No More Excuses!

They say that you are more likely to reach your goals if you write them down and share them with others. Unfortunately, that didn’t work for me… I missed my writing deadline of March 31st (today). But, I don’t give up so easily. I’m setting a new deadline and this time it will stick. Come hell or high water! I will have the first draft of Everdal done by May 31, 2021. I hope each and every one of you reading this, will hold me to it. Comment below… message me… email me (ninasodenbooks@gmail.com)… Tweet me @Nina_Soden… tag me on Instagram Nina_Soden… just find a way to let me know you are pushing me to reach this goal. Sometimes it takes outside inspiration and motivation. Sometimes it just takes finding an extra thirty minutes in a day. I think I need a little of both. Ok, no more slaking… I’m going to go put in an hour of writing and try to get another 1,000 words in before I stop for the night.


Everdal Update #5…

Image by MattHrusc from Pixabay.

Update #5 March 17, 2021

WORKING TITLE: Everdal
GENRE: YA/NA Fantasy
Status: Writing First Draft
Days in current Status: 51
Days of actual writing: 13
Current Word Count: 30,891
Current Chapter Count Complete: 15
NEXT STEPS: Complete first draft - Estimated completion date: 3/31/2021

I’M BEHIND!!!

Ever feel like time is running out? Yeah, me too!

The good thing is, I created my own deadline for this project. Sure, I still want to reach the goal of having my first draft written by March 31st, but if I don’t reach it… I can always push the deadline date.

A glimpse into the life of Celeste Amora Stevenson Dupont

When your life has been turned upside down, but prom is just around the corner, you sneak away to find the perfect dress… one fit for a princess!