Dealing with Grief ~ #MindfulnessMonday 7/1/2019

Today’s #MindfulnessMonday Tip: Mindfulness can be very beneficial when dealing with loss and getting through times of grief.

Three Mindful Strategies to Help You Recover from Loss and Get You Through Times of Grief:

  1. Quiet Reflection – Sometimes the best way to get past loss and deal with grief is by facing it head on. Find a quiet place to reflect on the lost loved one, remember them as they were in your life, hold onto those memories and allow yourself to feel the sadness and embrace it. Once you have accepted the grief you may find it easier to move past it. That loss may never go away, but your heart will start to heal making it a little bit easier each and every day.
  2. Center yourself – When the waves of sadness and grief fell overwhelming use slow deep breathing to get through the helplessness that often comes with the grief. This will help you stay grounded and bring you back to the present moment.
  3. Practice Mindfulness – Loss and grief are cyclical, like the seasons. Even when we are in the middle of an extreme winter, we know that summer will eventually come. We learn to push through those cold, sometimes unbearable, winter days because we know there is something to look forward to on the other end. The same is true for grief. Today, your grief may seem unbearable, but a month from now… six months from now… a year from now… little by little that pain will start to subside and eventually, you’ll be able to look back on the memories of your lost loved one with joy and not sadness.

Check out today’s #MindfulnessMonday video HERE!

Today’s Mindfulness Exercise:

60-Second Breathing Meditation

Your breath is a great tool to help train your mind to focus your thoughts, center yourself, and push through stress, anxiety, pain, loss, and of course grief. Whenever you start to feel your mind wander or become overloaded use this two-step meditation to bring you back to the present.

Step 1 – Notice your breathing. Pay attention to the sensation of the air around you; how it feels as it enters your nose then travels down into your lungs. Pay attention to the rise and fall of your chest and abdomen as the air moves in and out of your body. Don’t change the way you breathe, let the air move in and out as it normally would, just be aware of the sensations involved with the act of breathing.

Step 2 – Count your breaths. The first breath in and out is 1, the next breath in and out is 2, continue until you reach a full ten to fifteen breaths. As you relax, your breaths will get longer. This exercise should take you about a minute to complete. If you’re still feeling stressed after ten to fifteen breaths, continue the exercise until those feelings have passed.

Mindfulness Grief Journaling:

Step 1 Take 5 minutes to write down what you’re feeling.  There is no wrong way to complete this exercise so don’t worry about being judged. This is for you and you alone.

Step 2 – Take 5 minutes to write down how the person you lost makes you feel when you think of the memories you shared.

The point of this exercise it to acknowledge the grief and accept the feelings you’re having, but to also remember the good times and end on a positive note that honors your loved one.

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Check out my #MindfulnessMonday YouTube Series and don’t forget to click subscribe so you never miss an episode!

Dealing with Grief!

Stress Is A 6 Letter Word

Mindfulness Myths

Mindfulness Isn’t MAGIC!

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Would you like to take the 52-week challenge and experience a more mindful existence? Check out The Invisible You ~ 52 Weeks of Meditations, Activities, and Writing Prompts to Help you Discover You!

I’m certified in Holistic Stress Management and Mind/Body Fitness. I’ve been practicing Mindfulness for 10+ years and am passionate about helping others in their pursuit of a more mindful existence.

Photo by: Mikel Healy

About to Cry by Nina Soden

If I should cry, my eyes would know, all the feelings I didn’t let show.

If I should cry, my eyes would see, all of the things I neglected to be.

If I should cry, my heart would hear, all of the secrets I hold dear.

If I should cry, my heart would feel, all of the things that can never be real.

Dedicated to my family, those alive and those lost.

(c) copyright 2008 ~ Nina Soden

For more poems, check out by collection on Amazon: Private Words Unspoken

Someone Should Have Told Me ~ by Nina Soden

The phone rang.

My Uncle is in the hospital.

He’s been there a month.

A MONTH and no one told me.

The phone rang.

My hands are shaking.

I can’t get the tears to stop.

A MONTH and no one told me.

The phone rang.

I may be far, but I’m still family.

Distance doesn’t make it easier.

Distance doesn’t mean I don’t still love.

A MONTH and no one told me.

The phone rang.

He has a week, maybe two.

It isn’t long enough.

I need him to breathe… to live… to fight.

A MONTH and no one told me.

The phone rang.

Miles between us and my voice betays me…

How do you say goodbye, when the words won’t come?

How do you say I love you when words aren’t enough?

I’m hurting… I’m angry.

A MONTH and no one told me.

The phone rang.

I have a phone; someone should have called.

I have email; someone should have written.

My heart is broken.

A MONTH and no one told me.

It isn’t right. It isn’t fair. SOMEONE SHOUD HAVE TOLD ME!

Dedicated to my Uncle Dan ~ I will love you always~

(C) Nina Soden 2019

For more poems, check out by collection on Amazon: Private Words Unspoken

Editor’s Letter – 7 Stages of Grief

They say that when you suffer a loss or tragedy in your life you go through the seven stages of grief. I would say that these stages are not all that different from what a writer goes through after receiving notes/edits from their editor. Although, maybe the process from one stage to the next is a little quicker, than say for someone who just lost a loved one.

Today I received an email from my editor. The email was four printed pages long, single spaced, and rather small font. As soon as I opened it I was SHOCKED (stage one) that all of these notes could possibly be about my book DENIAL (stage one continued)! Then I realized that not only were the notes on these four printed pages, but when I opened the attachment, my manuscript, I realized that there was not a single page, or even paragraph, that didn’t have deletions/additions/notes, etc.

OH MY GOD!!! PAIN (stage two) struck through my gutt and heart like a knife sliding into butter. I quickly shut the attachment, not wanting to see all the red mark-ups. I decided that reading the email first would be best. However, that only led to the impending GUILT (stage two continued) that I felt for having put this woman through reading, my obviously horrible manuscript. Why on earth would I have tortured her in that why?

Then I got to thinking. Why hadn’t any of the previous six people who read my manuscript told me how awful it really was? Why did they lead me to believe that it was good? ANGER (stage three). I began BARGAINING (stage three continued) with myself, telling myself that the story isn’t really that bad and maybe it just wasn’t her cup of tea, yadda yadda yadda.

Finally, I started really looking deeper into my editor’s notes. I read the email at least five or six times, and slowly I began to doubt myself, my ability to complete this project. Not only did I feel completely alone, because no one else was going to do it for me, but I felt like maybe I wasn’t going to be able to do it either. DEPRESSION (stage four) struck after reading the letter for the seventh time, but that didn’t last long! I’m not one to wallow. I put the letter down, woke up my children up, and got them ready for school. After seeing their smiling faced I decided that feeling sorry for myself wasn’t going to get me anywhere.

I am always telling my children they can do anything and be anything they want in life. If I was going to set that example then I couldn’t allow myself to just give up so easily. I changed my attitude and read the editor’s letter again, and this time I looked at it not as a personal attack, but as constructive criticism, and I took an UPWARD TURN (stage five) toward a better attitude.

I called my editor and left a message, thanking her for all of her hard work and the great feedback she provided. I knew that reading the notes she sent me wasn’t going to be easy, and that I have a hard road ahead of me to get my book to its finished product, but that if I just WORK THROUGH (stage six) it with an open mind then I would be able to get it done.

So, now I am at that point of ACCEPTANCE (stage seven). I understand the task I am left with and I know that there is a lot of hard work ahead of me, but I am okay with that. I am willing to accept that challenge, and not back down. On top of all of that I have a new sense of HOPE (stage seven continued) that this challenge will bring with it a whole new set of experiences, and that I will learn so much from this process.

Don’t get me wrong, I know it isn’t going to be easy, and I am sure that in about a week or so I will be back on her crying, bitching, moaning, and complaining about all the work, and the fact that it is to hard, impossible, etc. However, for today, I am optimistic.

I’d like to say thank you! Thank you Jamie Aitchison, for taking the last two months to put so much hard work into my manuscript. It has been a huge project for me, and it means a lot to me that you would be so brutally honest with me. I know that sometimes it’s easier to say the nice thing, trying to avoid hurting someones feelings, but thank you for taking the harder road and telling me the hard to hear truth. With your notes and a lot of hard work I am confident that I can get this book to be as great as I know it can be.